Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
