So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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