I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize