I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
