i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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