I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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