I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
