i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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