I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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