Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
