I want to walk on stilts...naked
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
