yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize