I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
