is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
