i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
