you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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