apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
