It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
