I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
