Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
