I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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