This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
