Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize