puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
