i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
