pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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