so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
