dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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