OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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