Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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