I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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