She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
