Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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