That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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