My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
