i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
