forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
