I wannas sexs uuuuu
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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