I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
