she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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