Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
