Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
