whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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