lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
