no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
