When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
