While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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