A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize