Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
His nipple licking is glorious
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