I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
