Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
