just come out here and I will go home with you...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
