Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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