i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
