Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
