areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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