Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
