i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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